Things are still going great......
I have a lot to be thankful for this holiday. Since my last post, I can honestly say that Jorge and I have been doing wonderful. I started "you know what" this week and Jorge did get upset that we couldn't do anything, but, he didn't mean to. He gets frustrated when he wants to do something and I can't. I told him that he needed to understand this and he apologized.
We have not really fought. We haven't had many disagreements. Things are just kinda going with the flow right now. We had that naming service last week and he was a shoulder to cry on. He even had tears and cried along with me.
I absolutely love and adore my husband. He is one of the best men I've ever known. He is also very strong to have lived through what I put him through. It is not something I'm proud of......but.....I am proud to call him my husband.
He know asks me if he's failing in any areas and is quick to correct himself if he sees I'm upset or we can't come to an agreement. Is this all a dream?? Are things going to go sour again real quick? Maybe he's in denial? I don't know. He had his period of anger and I thought he already went through denial. Maybe this is his forgiveness stage?? I hope so. He doesn't deny anything happened. When a situation came up recently, about a friend I mentioned, he got defensive and told me that we had come to an agreement and he expected me to keep my part. He can honestly say "affair" and not flip out. He doesn't say that an affair didn't take place, he no longer asks for a reason or an explanation. He blames himself for part, saying he wasn't around enough that he knows he was failing and refused to give me the love and attention I begged for. I don't feel right for saying that he was correct. I told him that no matter where he was failing, that didn't give me the right to have an affair.
I did ask him last night if he is still angry with me over the affair. He was not able to answer. He was watching television though, so, I'm hoping he was just wrapped up in the movie. When I turned around and started sniffling, he was quick to ask me what was wrong. When I told him that I'd take his silence as an answer to if he was still angry, he apologized and told me that he loved me so much and asked me turn off the tv. What does that mean???
I have a few friends who have been cheated on and I feel so horrible for them. People like me are the reasons their lives were turned upside down too. One of them, says her husband gets defensive when she takes her concerns to him. I did at the beginning. Then I realized, I'm not getting anywhere. I had an affair and it was nothing else. Nothing less. Why should I have any reason to get defensive?? Jorge used to accuse me of loving him, but I never did. Maybe because I'm telling the truth?? We're 5 months after the affair and nothing has changed. I don't act any differently towards Jorge when we discuss the affair. We're both able to talk about the affair without getting angry, storming off, crying, having to get defensive. We've both come to terms with what has happened and we're just doing the best we can to be the best in our marriage. I love him and I realize where I went wrong. He loves me and he realizes where he went wrong. We had to hit rock bottom and now we're going back up. Denying it, not discussing it only made him feel that I had something to hide.
Maybe it was wrong. Maybe many will disagree. Many will think it makes no sense, but I will say this. Every single detail about my affair has come out. Every single conversation, every single detail about the affair has come out. Jorge asked me and he said that was the only way he felt he could trust me again.
We have not really fought. We haven't had many disagreements. Things are just kinda going with the flow right now. We had that naming service last week and he was a shoulder to cry on. He even had tears and cried along with me.
I absolutely love and adore my husband. He is one of the best men I've ever known. He is also very strong to have lived through what I put him through. It is not something I'm proud of......but.....I am proud to call him my husband.
He know asks me if he's failing in any areas and is quick to correct himself if he sees I'm upset or we can't come to an agreement. Is this all a dream?? Are things going to go sour again real quick? Maybe he's in denial? I don't know. He had his period of anger and I thought he already went through denial. Maybe this is his forgiveness stage?? I hope so. He doesn't deny anything happened. When a situation came up recently, about a friend I mentioned, he got defensive and told me that we had come to an agreement and he expected me to keep my part. He can honestly say "affair" and not flip out. He doesn't say that an affair didn't take place, he no longer asks for a reason or an explanation. He blames himself for part, saying he wasn't around enough that he knows he was failing and refused to give me the love and attention I begged for. I don't feel right for saying that he was correct. I told him that no matter where he was failing, that didn't give me the right to have an affair.
I did ask him last night if he is still angry with me over the affair. He was not able to answer. He was watching television though, so, I'm hoping he was just wrapped up in the movie. When I turned around and started sniffling, he was quick to ask me what was wrong. When I told him that I'd take his silence as an answer to if he was still angry, he apologized and told me that he loved me so much and asked me turn off the tv. What does that mean???
I have a few friends who have been cheated on and I feel so horrible for them. People like me are the reasons their lives were turned upside down too. One of them, says her husband gets defensive when she takes her concerns to him. I did at the beginning. Then I realized, I'm not getting anywhere. I had an affair and it was nothing else. Nothing less. Why should I have any reason to get defensive?? Jorge used to accuse me of loving him, but I never did. Maybe because I'm telling the truth?? We're 5 months after the affair and nothing has changed. I don't act any differently towards Jorge when we discuss the affair. We're both able to talk about the affair without getting angry, storming off, crying, having to get defensive. We've both come to terms with what has happened and we're just doing the best we can to be the best in our marriage. I love him and I realize where I went wrong. He loves me and he realizes where he went wrong. We had to hit rock bottom and now we're going back up. Denying it, not discussing it only made him feel that I had something to hide.
Maybe it was wrong. Maybe many will disagree. Many will think it makes no sense, but I will say this. Every single detail about my affair has come out. Every single conversation, every single detail about the affair has come out. Jorge asked me and he said that was the only way he felt he could trust me again.
posted by Tara @ 5:59 PM
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