Not forgiven, still angry...................
So, I finally got him to spill the beans the other night. I asked him again and he didn't answer me. When I told him it was important for me to know if he still has a lot of anger, he took a deep breath.
Then he said,
"Sometimes. But I love you so much. I know you're doing everything you can and you're such a wonderful person and wife now. I just don't think it's fair if I continue to tell you I'm still angry with you. I just refuse to make you miserable again. I know you love me and I love you. We're here, we're working things out, that's all that matters."
I was a little upset. I don't know why. For him, it's not important for him to forgive me. By staying with me, he's showing me he loves me enough to work past it and move on. For me, I feel like he's doing it bc he has nowhere else to go or bc he doesn't have a choice. He's pushing it to the back of his mind bc he doesn't want to face the truth.
I guess I have to look at it in a positive way though. He is with me. He does love me. He hasn't been pushing it on me or reminding me of my mistakes lately. I just hate that he has to think about it day in and day out and won't tell me when it's bothering him.
I guess he has all of the details and there's nothing else to discuss.
I just hope he can forgive me one day. I'm doing everything I can. I asked him what I could for him that would make him forgive me. What did he say?
"Just baby me and show me you love me."
Is that really all it's going to take? I'm not so sure he's telling the truth.
Let me clarify this though, we're still doing great. I did get upset with him yesterday, but only 'cause he was picking on me. He likes teasing me to make me mad. I did get mad and he apologized when he realized I was really upset and hurt by the things he did and what he said. So, we're still doing good.
Then he said,
"Sometimes. But I love you so much. I know you're doing everything you can and you're such a wonderful person and wife now. I just don't think it's fair if I continue to tell you I'm still angry with you. I just refuse to make you miserable again. I know you love me and I love you. We're here, we're working things out, that's all that matters."
I was a little upset. I don't know why. For him, it's not important for him to forgive me. By staying with me, he's showing me he loves me enough to work past it and move on. For me, I feel like he's doing it bc he has nowhere else to go or bc he doesn't have a choice. He's pushing it to the back of his mind bc he doesn't want to face the truth.
I guess I have to look at it in a positive way though. He is with me. He does love me. He hasn't been pushing it on me or reminding me of my mistakes lately. I just hate that he has to think about it day in and day out and won't tell me when it's bothering him.
I guess he has all of the details and there's nothing else to discuss.
I just hope he can forgive me one day. I'm doing everything I can. I asked him what I could for him that would make him forgive me. What did he say?
"Just baby me and show me you love me."
Is that really all it's going to take? I'm not so sure he's telling the truth.
Let me clarify this though, we're still doing great. I did get upset with him yesterday, but only 'cause he was picking on me. He likes teasing me to make me mad. I did get mad and he apologized when he realized I was really upset and hurt by the things he did and what he said. So, we're still doing good.


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home