No sleep....

We hardly get any sleep anymore. Jorge keeps having nightmares, bad thoughts, worries.....
I feel so terrible for him. I tell him that I think maybe it's best (for him) if I just leave and we end this. We seem to be hurting more, after the affair, than before and during. This is so painful. When he wakes up at night, he'll ask me questions......Do you love him?........Have you seen him?........Are you lying to me?..........Why are you crying? That means you still love him, right?.........
It hurts so much, but, I know it's not fair for me to be the one who's hurting and whining. I'm trying to take it day by day. I am trying to comfort Jorge. He keeps asking me to promise him that I will be "good to him", he asks me if he can trust me again. I hate to say anything...it's not that I am not sure, it's just that, we made all of these promises before. When we first got married, the first thing we discussed was that we promised we would tell each other if we didn't want to be together anymore. We promised not to hurt or cheat on each other.
It hit me so fast. Even though a month or so seems like enough time, when you live like I did, it seems like hours. Jorge was always gone, only home on the weekends, so, from one week to the next, the time just started flying. I worked and stayed busy with school that, I never had time to sit down and think to myself. Instead of making "promises" to each other, I just want to do everything to try and fix us and make us better than before. I will never ever make my husband feel neglected again. He has promised to start making changes too. And I will admit, from day one, he has.
We sleep together every single night......he calls me just to say that he loves me....if I can't cook, we go out to eat, instead of bringing home more trash for me to clean up.....
I'm trying.......