That's life.....I guess
I just want to take this time to vent. I haven't had a good vent in a long time. I've been trying to get to my journal, but, for the same reasons I'm stressed, I haven't been able to reach the journal.
Anywho...it's funny 'cause I write, write and write, and I'm pretty sure nobody has ever read this, but, it feels good.
Start off with, yes, I'm overwhelmed again. But, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. It's my job. I haven't really been at the school this week though. Last week, I was at the school pretty much every minute. Friday was the last, I made several phone calls. All of my volunteer positions got filled up so I don't have to throw myself in as a volunteer. But, I don't want to get ahead of myself, I still haven't had my meeting for chairperson for the kitchen (at the carnival). That will be over the next few days.
My baby got sick. She was bitten by ants and one of the scabs were scraped off, and infected. These past few days have been horrible. With this staph infection, I feel like I'm torturing or abusing my child. I have to hold her down so we can squeeze that pus out of her foot. It's absolutely terrible. Sometimes I get so frustrated with memdical personnel. I know that they are trying to help my child, and they are "fixing" her, but, I just hate that they can't snap their fingers and say, "She's better!!"
Today was Donuts for Dads day. Jorge was supposed to go eat breakfast with Steven and Lucy. I volunteered to help out, passing out donuts, juice, and clean up. Mary was going to stay with mom, no problem. Jorge was going to go all the way up through last night, the night before, then he said he wouldn't be able to make it. That his bosses are expecting him to be there bright and early. I just about flipped out, the fact that he's going to blow off a special breakfast for a father and his children, and, blow off going with me to Mary's appointment. He must've known what I was thinking, 'cause he brought home roses. Okay, so points for him. I was ready and had even sucked in my breath when he walked in the door, then I seen the flowers. That definitely made things somewhat better. Though this morning, I had to ask another father to sit with Steven to keep him company. He was the father of one of Steven's closest friends. At least he got to have a nice breakfast (yeah right, donuts and juice, lol).
Last night, I was cramping, worrying about Mary, exhausted from the crazy day....blah blah blah. Jorge wouldn't put a band aid on Mary's foot, and I had just washed the sheets. Mary was in our bed and her foot was oozing pus all over. I asked him to cover her foot and signed, he just got upset, so I silently cried myself to sleep. I slept all night and we woke up okay. I don't like falling asleep mad, but, last night, I was too exhausted to fight.
Let me skim around this issue, but, I have a Bible Study, it's more of a therapy group. This is only my second week and I'm upset. The first week, there were only 2 of us and the 2 instructors. This week, they added 4 more women. They will no longer add any more women, just for our sake, but, I'm not too happy about this. Last week, we had enough time to talk about our issues, ourselves, our lives, whatever we wanted to, and got out right on time. This week, we were only able to get through one topic. Everybody took 15 minutes to 30 minutes to tell their story ( just bc they were new and needed to tell their life story), that was one topic!! By the time we finished, it was time to go. She said we had to skip everything else. I don't want to sound mean or horrible, but, my issues are pretty severe and I truly need to discuss them and be able to listen to what the instructors have to say and understand my Bible Study more, the other women, are all 3 times my age!! They are only there bc they are in training to be a counselor, and have to go through a Bible Study themselves. They're there bc they have to be, not bc they truly want help! I pisses me off so bad. I work so hard at doing my Bible Study and we don't even have enough time to discuss our answers. How am I supposed to understand my Bible Study if we can't even discuss our answers, what we think is correct????????????
Well, that's it, for now. I probably need to get to cleaning, since I've been busy lately.
See ya around! :)
Anywho...it's funny 'cause I write, write and write, and I'm pretty sure nobody has ever read this, but, it feels good.
Start off with, yes, I'm overwhelmed again. But, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. It's my job. I haven't really been at the school this week though. Last week, I was at the school pretty much every minute. Friday was the last, I made several phone calls. All of my volunteer positions got filled up so I don't have to throw myself in as a volunteer. But, I don't want to get ahead of myself, I still haven't had my meeting for chairperson for the kitchen (at the carnival). That will be over the next few days.
My baby got sick. She was bitten by ants and one of the scabs were scraped off, and infected. These past few days have been horrible. With this staph infection, I feel like I'm torturing or abusing my child. I have to hold her down so we can squeeze that pus out of her foot. It's absolutely terrible. Sometimes I get so frustrated with memdical personnel. I know that they are trying to help my child, and they are "fixing" her, but, I just hate that they can't snap their fingers and say, "She's better!!"
Today was Donuts for Dads day. Jorge was supposed to go eat breakfast with Steven and Lucy. I volunteered to help out, passing out donuts, juice, and clean up. Mary was going to stay with mom, no problem. Jorge was going to go all the way up through last night, the night before, then he said he wouldn't be able to make it. That his bosses are expecting him to be there bright and early. I just about flipped out, the fact that he's going to blow off a special breakfast for a father and his children, and, blow off going with me to Mary's appointment. He must've known what I was thinking, 'cause he brought home roses. Okay, so points for him. I was ready and had even sucked in my breath when he walked in the door, then I seen the flowers. That definitely made things somewhat better. Though this morning, I had to ask another father to sit with Steven to keep him company. He was the father of one of Steven's closest friends. At least he got to have a nice breakfast (yeah right, donuts and juice, lol).
Last night, I was cramping, worrying about Mary, exhausted from the crazy day....blah blah blah. Jorge wouldn't put a band aid on Mary's foot, and I had just washed the sheets. Mary was in our bed and her foot was oozing pus all over. I asked him to cover her foot and signed, he just got upset, so I silently cried myself to sleep. I slept all night and we woke up okay. I don't like falling asleep mad, but, last night, I was too exhausted to fight.
Let me skim around this issue, but, I have a Bible Study, it's more of a therapy group. This is only my second week and I'm upset. The first week, there were only 2 of us and the 2 instructors. This week, they added 4 more women. They will no longer add any more women, just for our sake, but, I'm not too happy about this. Last week, we had enough time to talk about our issues, ourselves, our lives, whatever we wanted to, and got out right on time. This week, we were only able to get through one topic. Everybody took 15 minutes to 30 minutes to tell their story ( just bc they were new and needed to tell their life story), that was one topic!! By the time we finished, it was time to go. She said we had to skip everything else. I don't want to sound mean or horrible, but, my issues are pretty severe and I truly need to discuss them and be able to listen to what the instructors have to say and understand my Bible Study more, the other women, are all 3 times my age!! They are only there bc they are in training to be a counselor, and have to go through a Bible Study themselves. They're there bc they have to be, not bc they truly want help! I pisses me off so bad. I work so hard at doing my Bible Study and we don't even have enough time to discuss our answers. How am I supposed to understand my Bible Study if we can't even discuss our answers, what we think is correct????????????
Well, that's it, for now. I probably need to get to cleaning, since I've been busy lately.
See ya around! :)
posted by Tara @ 12:20 PM
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