If I'm gone for awhile.......
I'm sorry. I really don't want to post anything on our birth board. I'm sorry. I just don't want to bore anyone with the details over there......I already know what the first thing will be that pops into their heads.
Jorge and I are just at a very difficult time again. Jorge said something last night and it just made me flip out. It was just a very snide remark that was very unnecessary. My Dad was missing and we were frantically searching for him, at least I was. Jorge had to make a very rude comment (pertaining to the affair) in trying to "help" the search for my father. He was recommending we look in a certain spot.....Anywho. He knew that it was wrong. It was very very wrong. Especially considering that we've been doing just fine.
From that point, everything went wrong. After my mom found my Dad, we started driving home. Then mom called to say she was out of gas, so we had to flip around and get her some gas. He knew I was pissed and kept saying mean things. When we finally got home, he said that he didn't know why I was mad. He said that if I didn't enjoy it or love it (the time of the affair), then it shouldn't hurt or be considered mean, when he makes comment like those. He said if I really regretted it, then I should agree with him making comments and not get upset.
It was just so wrong. I don't know what to do anymore. He also called me a Bitch last night. So wrong. I've done what I can to prove myself to him. I've given up every right as a woman and a mom to please him. He prayed night and day that my pregnancy would disappear......and it happened. He got his prayers and wishes. He still wasn't happy. I just don't understand.
So, anyway, if I'm gone for a little while, that's why. I'm trying not to get online, that way I don't have to bore anybody with the rest of the details of my misery. Nobody else deserves to go through it. I'll come online and try and keep up, but, to have normal conversation, I don't think I can do right now.
I have been so depressed. I went back on my antidepressants. I don't know why this has bothered me so much. I keep breaking out in tears. I can't stop crying. I cried all night long. I've been crying all morning. I don't know why I can't stop crying. It hurts so bad. I feel so alone.
Jorge and I are just at a very difficult time again. Jorge said something last night and it just made me flip out. It was just a very snide remark that was very unnecessary. My Dad was missing and we were frantically searching for him, at least I was. Jorge had to make a very rude comment (pertaining to the affair) in trying to "help" the search for my father. He was recommending we look in a certain spot.....Anywho. He knew that it was wrong. It was very very wrong. Especially considering that we've been doing just fine.
From that point, everything went wrong. After my mom found my Dad, we started driving home. Then mom called to say she was out of gas, so we had to flip around and get her some gas. He knew I was pissed and kept saying mean things. When we finally got home, he said that he didn't know why I was mad. He said that if I didn't enjoy it or love it (the time of the affair), then it shouldn't hurt or be considered mean, when he makes comment like those. He said if I really regretted it, then I should agree with him making comments and not get upset.
It was just so wrong. I don't know what to do anymore. He also called me a Bitch last night. So wrong. I've done what I can to prove myself to him. I've given up every right as a woman and a mom to please him. He prayed night and day that my pregnancy would disappear......and it happened. He got his prayers and wishes. He still wasn't happy. I just don't understand.
So, anyway, if I'm gone for a little while, that's why. I'm trying not to get online, that way I don't have to bore anybody with the rest of the details of my misery. Nobody else deserves to go through it. I'll come online and try and keep up, but, to have normal conversation, I don't think I can do right now.
I have been so depressed. I went back on my antidepressants. I don't know why this has bothered me so much. I keep breaking out in tears. I can't stop crying. I cried all night long. I've been crying all morning. I don't know why I can't stop crying. It hurts so bad. I feel so alone.
posted by Tara @ 10:51 AM
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