The clouds are starting to part.......

On May 18th, I was saved. I became a new believer and started studying the Bible. I started feeling sick and started to turn away from the church. I didn't attend for 3 weeks, I didn't do my required bible study and didn't do my "homework". I just felt too sick to attend services and felt it was more important for me to stay home an be sick.
Last week, the doctor diagnosed me as having a delayed postpartum depression. He prescribed me an antidepressant. I found the more I took the medicine, the worse I felt. Everyone kept telling me to hang in there and to at least take it for "blah" long and see how I feel then. I tried, I kept trying. I just couldn't do it.
When I told Jorge about it, he was upset by this. He was worried about the adverse reactions I might have, and became even more worried after I continued to have nausea. He begged me to stop taking the medicine and get back into going to church, seek out counsel from the church, and bury myself in Bible study. I thought, "Jorge is not even a believer, what does he know?"
Monday morning, I came into work and decided to tell my boss and his wife about my "illness". I wanted to make them aware of possible side effects and why I might seem different or might have to miss work. They were saddened by this, but, agreed to support me in every way possible. They also suggested me to seek out counsel from the church and offered to assist me in doing so. My bosses wife explained to me that what was happening to me, was a battle of good and evil inside my body.
When I became a believer, I got phone calls from people near and far, people I knew and people I didn't. Some were unemployed, some were Doctors, others were just well wishers. The one thing they all had in common, was telling me that Satan would be pissed and would be seeking out ways to get me to turn against the Lord. I didn't understand this and thought everyone was joking.
When I started talking with my bosses wife, she explained to me, what I was experiencing, wasn't at all uncommon in new believers. She said that Satan was trying to fight with me to bring me back down to feeling low again, so I would turn against the Lord. She said it was a fight of good and evil in my body. This is where it all started becoming a little more clear. She said that I need to find scripture I can relate to whenever I'm feeling down. That would lift my spirits back up.
Monday night, come time to take my pill, I sat down with pill and water on the table. I made me a nice bagel to scarf down before my pill. I ate my bagel and began to take my pill. All of a sudden, something held me back. Something told me to sit and think about the pill I was about to ingest. What would be the consequences?? Are the side effects of this pill worth it? Nausea so severe, I can't see straight, can't think straight, can't walk straight. Vomiting so severe, I was becoming deydrated.
Then it hit me, my husband begged me not to take the pill. The Lord has softened Jorge's heart enough, that Jorge understood that prayer and scripture would help me more than any pill. He told me he didn't want me to ever feel I need some sort of pill to make me feel better. He said I need to realize what I'm worth to him and what I'm worth to my family. What good am I if I'm under the effect of this anti depressant?
I put the pill back in the bottle and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up, feeling better than ever. I don't ever recall waking up feeling so alert, without pain, so ready to deal with whatever the day had to bring. I got up, made breakfast, did my cleaning. I washed clothes. I met with the babysitter I was interviewing. I had an appointment I attended then returned home. I sat the kids down to play quietly. I then proceeded to open my Bible and my study booklet. I read my Bible for 3 hours straight. I studied different scripture.
I realized, I felt so much better. I normally feel depressed when I realize I'm alone since Jorge's gone most of the week. After reading what I did, I realized that I am not alone, for He is with me.
I have not taken my pill now in 3 days. Even though I hardly started taking them, they had a big effect on me.
If you know someone experiencing things like me, who are steps away from becoming a believer, please continue to pray. For once they learn the power of prayer and Bible study, the side effects are far better than those of any prescription.

Sick of being Sick

I'm getting tired of being sick. Always sick with this or that. I've been to Doctor after Doctor to try and determine the problem. We never get anywhere. If anything, I leave with more questions than I went in with.
I grew up my entire life, always feeling sick with this or that. My mom started telling me it was all in my head. It hurt, but, I kept my head up. I just started laughing off their jokes. Getting married, after so many complaints, Jorge now agrees that it's all in my head. I'm not really sick. I just hear that someone is sick and I mysteriously come down with the same symptoms. Since the doctor's haven't been able to find anything, I'm almost convinced it's all in my head.
I have so many symptoms, it's hard to tell where the problems start. Who knows if it's one thing causing so many symtoms, or if each symptom is caused by something else. I have headaches, exhaustion, fatigue almost 24 hours a day. I feel down. Stomach pain. Abdominal cramping. Back cramping w/ or w/o the stomach/abdominal pain. My legs go numb, my hands go numb. My vision shakes. I feel like I have a rubberband attached to my brain from my eye and it's stretching as far as it can. Any minute, the band can break, causing my eye to fling into my brain. I have chronic pain, everywhere. In my butt, in my thighs, my knees, elbows, shoulders, wrist, hands. I get achey like I have the flu. I can't get enough sleep. I go home and fall asleep without trying. If I don't fall asleep, I get a migraine. I have menstrual problems. I constantly feel like I have something punching me in the gut. When my stomach begins to cramp, I become cold and sweaty, I get dizzy, I become nauseated. To where it can keep me down for a few hours.
I mean, my complaints are endless. If it's not one thing, it's another. I've had an ovarian cyst at the age of 15-16. I had mononucleosis in 7th grade, "the kissing disease". I had pain under my right rib cage when I was pregnant with Steven. They did an u/s and determined I did have "something" on my gallbladder, but, couldn't do surgery then due to the pregnancy. If the problems worsened, they could check it again. Didn't have any more problems in that area until after Mary was born. I would be doing nothing, doing just fine, then all of a sudden, get cramps in my abdominal area. I would get hot flashes and become dizzy. I could be either with constipation or diarrhea, didn't make a difference. It never made a difference. After sending me for an u/s on that area, they determined I had polyps, but, the surgeon assured me the polyps wouldn't cause symptoms such as mine. Nevertheless, when I had an attack a few days later, I was rushed to the hospital, put up with IV's and had emergency gallbladder removal surgery the following day.
After they took my gallbladder, I felt as if everything would be better. I could get on with my life, with my children and husband and be better. Instead, things only worsened. Not only did I continue having the same problems, they worsened and I had more frequent attacks with eating simple meals. After talking with my surgeon again, he explained since the gallbladder was no longer there, it couldn't rid of the excess bile. I would have to take a nasty powder called cholestyramine (or something like that). The powder doesn't dissolve with water. I took it 1/2 a time. I had a major problem with the texture. It's not made to dissolve, instead, it's a binding agent or something or the other to help. The doctor said most people are better within the month. Instead, I didn't take any more and am not any better.
I'm now convinced, it wasn't my gallbladder causing the problems. Something else is going on in there. Something that can't be found until we know exactly what we're looking for. So where do I start?? Do they just need to start ripping out my intestines and such? Will that help to find the problem? Should I not eat, breathe, drink or sleep until they find the problem?? Exploratory surgery??
I'm getting sick just thinking about it. My poor children need their mommy. Daddy is hardly ever home. How am I supposed to take care of my children, if I'm constantly falling asleep?? I have an appointment with the family physician 06/03 to tell him, "Look, I'm sick of being, well, sick. You need to do something or I'm going to go crazy!" We'll see if that helps.
A few months back, a friend showed me an interesting website on excess yeast growing. I was interested and it sounded a lot like my case. But, at the same time, it sounded too much like my case. I'm going to look more into it, by studying my own lifestyle. I need to keep a diary of all of my problems. Maybe one day, we can have a breakthrough in the case and solve the mystery!